Every child develops at their own speed. As with any developmental milestones, these are simply guidelines. By age 5, your child should be able to do all of these things, but there could be a good reason why they aren’t. Even if a button winds up in the wrong hole or snacks spill onto the carpet instead of in the bowl, learning to become independent is an important part of personal and social development. The key here is to let your preschooler practice often and to dress them in clothing conducive to someone learning. That means things like buttons, zippers, and belts may be best avoided in the beginning and introduced as they begin to master independent dressing. If your child is still eating with their hands, give them a fork or a spoon and explain you’d like them to use these instead. If they have trouble, help them out. As they master using utensils, start to work on basic table manners like not playing with their food (something that often occurs when a child eats with their hands). It may look like your preschooler is getting their teeth clean, but maneuvering through that tiny mouth can be tricky. Since you can’t see that your child is actually getting between every crevice, this is something you’ll need to do. Still, you can encourage their independence having them brush before or after you do it. The important thing to remember about chores is that in the beginning, your little one’s work will not be perfect. The result is not what you are looking for here, rather the effort that they are giving. While you might be tempted to refold the towels your little one took care of, resist the urge and praise what they have done. Most boys will show a preference for standing up, but start them training by having them sit down. Boy or girl, the key is to look for readiness signs like following directions and a longer attention span. Once your child is using the toilet regularly (if they have been using a potty chair, you’ll want to transition them to the regular toilet), don’t surprised if they have accidents. Explain that hand-washing isn’t only for keeping his hands clean, but it helps get rid of the germs that make them sick. It’s important that your child learns this skill on their own—you won’t always be around to make sure they do it the right way. Teach them to sing a song while they wash (the alphabet song sung twice works well) and the right amount of soap to use. You will also have to teach them the difference between the hot and cold water taps and how to dry their hands when they are finished. Spills are part of the learning process. Instead of scolding your child, remind them that accidents happen and clean them up together. Invite your child to come and cook with you in the kitchen. Taking time to help your child become familiar in the kitchen through simple tasks like stirring and pouring will increase their comfort level and give them a head start when they get older.
