You might consider having your toddler start preschool a few months before your due date in order to give them time to transition to their new schedule before the baby arrives. Alternatively, time their first day to a few weeks after your delivery so that they won’t be starting school at the exact time you bring the baby home, which may feel like too much at once for both you and your toddler. Also, spacing their start date a bit away from your delivery may lessen your toddler’s association of going to school with the arrival of the new baby. Ideally, this timing will help temper any feelings of jealousy that may arise and prevent your toddler from feeling shunted off in favor of the baby. Think blocks, materials to color with, and other art supplies, play food, and simple puzzles. Make sure you also have a toddler-sized table and chair and that all the items are child-safe. Depending on the layout, size, and child hazards present in your home, you may want to section off an area with a pen or gate so that you’ll know your toddler is safe and contained. This is particularly important as you will invariably need to step away or turn your back occasionally while caring for your baby—and you’re likely to be tired and/or distracted at times. Equally important is to create a separate safe space for the baby, which could be a swing, playpen, and/or crib, so that you have a place to safely set down your baby when your toddler needs your undivided attention. You can try putting them both down at the same time. This is particularly effective if they share a room. Or try getting your toddler to sleep first, as they usually will sleep for a longer time. Then, put down your baby. Alternatively, you might put your baby down and then lie down with your toddler. This is a good tactic if you want a short nap, too. It may be trial and error at first, but making the effort to synchronize naps will pay off. If your efforts misfire, use your infant’s nap time to spend quality time with your toddler and vice versa. Having a few minutes alone with each child can help you all to feel more grounded and connected. It also can give you a chance to check in and be more present with each other. Toddlers usually get a kick about hearing about even the most mundane details of what they did when they were babies. You can also try narrating what you are doing to care for the baby and then compare it to how you cared for the toddler. Alternatively, you can sing songs with them or try having your toddler turn the pages if you want to read them some books. Keep these bags (which could also be bins) stashed in an out-of-sight place that is also handy for you to grab (say on a high shelf or in a cabinet or closet) when you need to focus on your baby, such as during a diaper change or bath. Fill the bags with whatever items you think your toddler would enjoy, such as a few stuffed animals, building blocks, crayons, and paper, or soft books, The trick is to not give your child ready access to the bags so that they will have heightened interest in the contents when you want to keep them occupied. To safely wear your baby, make sure they are positioned in an upright position, with their chin off their chest and their head visible and close enough for you to kiss. There are many types of baby carriers and with a bit of practice, they often become very convenient and easy to get in and out of. Doing so will reinforce your bond with your older child and ensure that both children get the benefits of undivided attention. In fact, research shows that the transition to siblinghood is much less likely to be stressful and disruptive for the older child when efforts are made to prioritize their relationship with their parent. For example, ask your toddler to grab a diaper, rattle, or burp cloth for your baby—or to get you an apple or granola bar. They could have them sing a song or do a dance to entertain the baby. You can have them help you pick the baby’s next outfit or help you softly pat them dry after a bath. Including your toddler in these tasks helps them feel useful and competent, teaches them new skills, and keeps them by your side. Alternatively, find help watching both your kids so that you can have time for self-care, housework, your job, taking a nap, and/or whatever else you want or need to do. Having opportunities for alone time for yourself and with each of your children is important for all of you.
A Word From Verywell
Juggling a baby and a toddler is difficult, but as a second-time parent you know it’s only a transitional period—and one to cherish as it goes by so quickly. Getting creative helps, asking for support is paramount, and considering the needs of each child is important. Also, don’t forget about the importance of self-care, as you can’t fully care for your children if you’re not taking care of yourself.
