However, many states do limit how frequently they will review child support orders, so you’ll want to check the child support guidelines for your state to learn more about how to request a child support modification in your area. If your ex’s discipline techniques feel unsafe to you, speak with him or her about it or, for immediate concerns about your children’s safety, call 9-1-1. For safety concerns that don’t quite reach that level of alarm, yet still need to be addressed, speak with your lawyer. For lighter issues of discipline style, talk with your ex directly about your concerns and cite specific examples. Language like “I’ve noticed” can be helpful for making your point without blaming or accusing—both when you’re pointing out what’s bothering you, and when you’re making an observation about what works with your kids. Because in the end, that’s what it’s about. On the other hand, if your ex so devalues education that your kids almost never come back from his or her place with their homework done, then you’ll need to have a conversation about how you can both support their education and help them be successful in class. Attending a parent-teacher conference together can also help reinforce the message that homework is an important part of your kids’ educational experiences. If you have a reasonably good relationship with your ex, start with a conversation about what the kids have shared with you and anything they’ve expressed about how that makes them feel. If it’s a timing issue, consider whether changing your parenting time routine might help your ex spend more time with the children instead of leaving them in the care of others.
