Is Your Self-Care Warning Light On?
Our bodies don’t come with warning lights like cars do. So you won’t see an orange glow coming from the dashboard to tell you that you’re almost out of gas. But you will see some clear signs that you need to bump up your self-care efforts. These can include anything from feeling easily frustrated to yelling at your kids, becoming increasingly forgetful, and even experiencing physical symptoms.
What Is Self-Care?
To put it simply, self-care is pouring into yourself the resources you need to perform at your best. It’s asking yourself, “How am I feeling, and what do I need right now?” While some may be tempted to label the act of putting your own needs first — or even considering your needs at all — selfish, it’s actually the exact opposite. Self-care helps you build up the energy, stamina, and inner strength you need to do this job well. And it won’t happen by accident. Self-care requires an ongoing, intentional effort.
5 Categories of Self-Care for Single Parents
Tending to your own self-care requires you to acknowledge all of the different needs you’re experiencing. Imagine a gemstone with multiple facets. There are many facets to self-care, too. These include:
Cumulative Effects of Neglecting Your Self-Care
It’s important to recognize that ignoring any of these types of self-care can cause cumulative effects and contribute to the stress you’re feeling. As a single parent, you’re not just experiencing physical exhaustion. Juggling your responsibilities can leave you feeling emotionally spent as well. And if you’re still recovering from a broken relationship, loss, or other disappointment on top of everything else, then taking the time to work through your feelings each day will be even more important. You might find yourself tearful in the middle of the grocery store or snapping at your kids over things you’d normally overlook. Exhaustion will also seep in when you’re ignoring your emotional needs. So it’s imperative that you take care of yourself emotionally so that you can be at your best for your kids.
Tips for Making Regular Self-Care a Habit
Here are some ways to take care of your emotional needs and build your inner strength:
Unchartered Territory: Self-Care for Single Dads
The topic of self-care warrants special consideration for single dads. It’s unfortunate that our culture teaches us that men are supposed to be strong and capable — a belief that makes it particularly hard for some men to acknowledge their weaknesses or ask for help. So if you feel you couldn’t possibly speak to a counselor or ask your neighbor for help with the kids, I encourage you to redefine the words strength and weakness. It’s a paradox — something that looks like a contradiction at first glance but actually reveals an unexpected truth. Pretending that nothing’s wrong might look like strength from the outside, but it isn’t true strength. And asking for help might feel like an expression of weakness initially, but it’s really a display of inner strength because it takes a stronger person to ask for help than to pretend that nothing’s wrong. So give yourself the freedom to express your strengths in new ways. Push through the discomfort that comes with asking for help, and focus on the result: getting what you need for yourself and your kids. Whether you’re a mom or a dad, there’s no doubt that taking care of your physical and emotional needs will boost your inner strength.
