Your child will get there on their own timetable—and with lots of practice. Like drinking from a cup or using a spoon, using the potty is a skill that must be learned. It is best accomplished when your child has developed emotionally and physically to the point where they are ready to take on using the bathroom independently. Starting potty training before your child is ready can backfire and lead to frustration for everyone involved. Rushing the process can ultimately result in potty training taking longer to complete, so it really helps to tune into the signals indicating readiness. Every child is different, but these are common signs of potty training readiness to help you know when your child is ready. Some ways they may do this:
They are interested in keeping dry or clean They are curious about what you are doing when you go to the bathroom They want to wear “big kid” underwear
You can spur this interest along by reading children’s books and watching videos about using the potty, and talking about it as you go about your daily parenting life. Modeling healthy toileting habits encourages your child to work toward this behavior as well. However, pushing the topic too much could be counterproductive. The 18-month to 3-year readiness range is big, and where your child will fall depends on a variety of largely uncontrollable factors. Looking closely for signs of interest can help you find the best time to start for your child. In fact, studies show a strong relationship between a child’s physical readiness for potty training and their ability to routinely keep their diaper dry during naps. Note that the super absorbent diapers many children wear may make it more challenging to tell if they are truly dry, so you may need to check closely. Look for your child’s own awareness of going to the bathroom, instead of using your own ability to notice their “tells” like a red face or making a certain expression. Pretty clear signs that your child recognizes when they need to go or are in the process of going:
They head to a private room to pee or poopThey hide behind furniture or curtains to goThey point to or touch their diaper as they are peeing or pooping
Your child’s independence can also be displayed as an interest in trying new things. Social awareness plays a role here as well. For example, being aware of toileting behaviors of others (like an older sibling or friend) can prompt them to want to model those habits. However, for some toddlers, mastering the motor skills necessary for undressing and dressing may take a bit more time. Make this step simpler for your child by avoiding dressing them in clothing that may be more difficult to take off and put on during toilet training, such as tights, rompers, undershirts with crotch snaps, and pants with belts, ties, or zippers. Additionally, letting them choose the clothes they want to wear may make them more motivated to keep these items clean and dry. Remember that this is not simply about the willingness to follow multi-step directions but rather about the ability to do so, which takes time. To help your child stay on the potty, you can have some books on hand for them to page through. Their ability to tell you they need the potty is key to you being able to help them, particularly when you are away from home and a restroom may not be readily accessible. Although remembering all this in order may seem easy to most adults, many toddlers have not developed the ability to sequence events yet. If they are following simple routines at home or memorizing nursery rhymes, that’s a readiness sign.
Grandparents, daycare teachers, and fellow parents may have good intentions, but remember that this is your decision to make. A simple, “Thank you so much for your advice, but this is working for our family right now,” will usually stop overly the zealous advice-giver.
