Zeidman is mom to 3-year-old Olive while also working to grow her business, The Ollie World, known for its innovative baby swaddles designed to make the lives of new parents a bit easier. The challenges of parenthood are something Zeidman, a former social worker and foster mother, knows well. But being a mom also comes with its rewards, which Zeidman cherishes in the wake of previous struggles trying to conceive. “I experienced six losses before I had my daughter, so being able to have the opportunity to be a mom is an absolute miracle,” she says. “After she was born, the most rewarding part was her existence, the sound she made when she was feeding, the way she looked at me, and the very first time she smiled. As she’s grown, the impact she has on my life has changed and deepened. Life still makes sense when she looks at me, but now I get to hear her thoughts, her questions, and see the person she is growing to be.” Zeidman’s views on parenthood are echoed in her business. She believes that it takes a village to raise a child and that parents should support one another by sharing knowledge and experience. “One statement I continued to utter after having a baby is ‘motherhood should not be a setup,’ because that is what it felt like,” she explains. “It felt like there was so much information that was withheld, and I didn’t find out until I was going through it on my own.” With that, Zeidman has a few things she wants new parents to know. Night sweats, she cautions, are a real thing, along with phantom crying. Both will mess with your mind as well as your sleep. But mostly, Zeidman wants new parents to understand a simple truth: You are doing a great job. “There will be a moment after you have your baby when you question yourself and your ability to be a good mom,” she says. “But that doesn’t mean you are a bad mom.” Ahead, Zeidman takes us on a journey as she tackles two busy days of work (and one busy Saturday!) while being a loving, attentive mom to Olive. Here’s how she spends her days.
Thursday
6:30 a.m. I set my alarm for 7, but always wake up before. There is usually something on my mind, whether it be my daughter, work, or even the happenings in our world. I’ll lay in bed for a bit and work from my phone. From there, I get up and get ready for the day.7:30 a.m. My daughter wakes up and I get her out of her crib. One important thing we do every morning is something we call her I Am’s. She stands in front of her mirror and says things like “I am ambitious. I am confident. I am lovable. I am a world-changer. I am kind.” 8:00 a.m. As a single mom by choice, I am dependent on a few key people in my life to help with Olive. Those two people are my mom and our nanny, the latter of whom has been with us for almost six months. Our nanny arrives and starts making breakfast for Olive, while I get her ready for the day. And when I say get her ready, I actually mean listen to what Olive tells me to do. She is very confident, assertive, and clear about what she wants. Her passion right now is bunnies and trucks. She loves excavators, cement mixers, skid steer loaders, and semi trucks, as well as her favorite stuffed animal bunny, named OG.8:30 a.m. I hug and kiss Olive goodbye and head to work. I have about a 20-30 minute commute to our office/warehouse. 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. My work day is usually a blur. From the moment I walk in the door, it is meetings, strategy, operations, manufacturing, finances, and product development. I eat lunch while working, and my breaks are when I use the bathroom or when I take my dog, Morris, who goes to work with me, for a walk.3:00 p.m. I am a huge proponent of mental health. It is an important topic that is not discussed enough. I learned this firsthand postpartum. I really struggled after my daughter was born and I had no idea I had postpartum anxiety (PPA); I just thought something was wrong with me. It took me a long time to understand what was happening and realize it wasn’t my fault. So, every week I go to therapy. My mom usually comes over to my home around this time to watch Olive and relieve the nanny. 4:15 p.m. I finish up at work and head home to my baby. 4:45 p.m. Coming home is special because Olive usually runs to greet me. It is probably one of the best feelings in the world. From there, Olive plays with my mom while I get dinner ready. Then Olive, my mom, and I all sit down together for dinner. After dinner, my mom goes back to her house, so Olive and I can have our quality time.5:30 p.m. This time of day can be challenging because I feel like I have so much to pack in with my daughter in a limited amount of time. It is hard to be away from her all day and only have a couple of hours together before bedtime. We use this time to engage. She tends to prefer the outdoors, so we’ll paint, play with chalk, or take a walk. Recently, she’s been into jumping up and down in muddy puddles (if you know, you know). We go searching for puddles or we’ll make her own in the backyard. I used to be uptight about getting messy, but somewhere along the line I just let it go. Now, I love seeing Olive play however she chooses to play. Her joy is contagious.6:30 p.m. I set a 10-minute timer to help Olive transition from play to bath time. She will usually play by herself, while I get her bottle ready. Right now, the bottle is still a source of comfort for Olive. I know she will get to a point when she is ready to stop and I want this to be a decision based on her needs.6:45 p.m. When the timer goes off, we head upstairs for bath time. After her bath, we come downstairs for lotion, pajamas, and bottle. The bottle provides a unique time for us. I hold Olive while she drinks, and we get to be physically close and quiet. It is a special moment for us to be together without the distractions of the world. After the bottle, we read. Reading books is an important part of our night routine. She picks out three books and sits in my lap. After books, we floss and brush her teeth and then it is off to bed. We say our goodnights around the house, which includes everything from the moon to the red truck across the street to a picture of my dad, who passed away before Olive was born. My dad was such an important figure in my life, so it is important that I honor him through the stories I share with Olive and making sure she knows about him.7:45 p.m. At this point, I just like to sit. I have been going all day being who everyone needs me to be at work, and then who Olive needs me to be at home, and I just want to sit. 8:00 p.m. The nanny comes back at this time so I can go to the gym. I used to work out a lot and it was a tremendous outlet for me. But, since becoming pregnant and having Olive, I stopped. It has probably been four years since I have been working out consistently, but I wanted a space to just get some relief from my brain, so I made a commitment to go to the gym twice a week. 9:30 p.m. I get home from the gym, shower, and eat. This usually happens on my couch, while watching some form of trash TV, which again, is a small escape from my brain. I also use this time to do some work, as well. 12:00 a.m. I get into bed and read until I fall asleep.
Friday
6:00 a.m. I wake up and work while lying in bed. Although I would prefer to have slept later, it is a time that is peaceful and quiet and I can work without distraction. I use this time to clear my email, so it is not as heavy when I get to the office.7:30 a.m. Olive wakes up and I bring her into my room, so we can be together while I get ready for work. It is not easy being away from Olive during the week, so even this little time before I leave matters to both of us.8:00 a.m. Olive and I go downstairs to get her dressed. The nanny arrives and starts to get Olive’s breakfast ready.8:45 a.m. I am running a bit late for work, but Olive asked me to read her a book and there is no way I am going to say no to that request.9:15 a.m. to 4:15 p.m. When I am in the office, it truly is just a blur of the grind. I have so much to do and there are times when I am overwhelmed with the amount of work I have on my plate. I will say that I have the opportunity to work with an amazing team that not only keeps the company running, but also motivates me to keep going too.4:45 p.m. I get home, hug and kiss my baby, and get dinner ready for everyone. 5:30 p.m. Olive and I go on a walk and then head back home where we create an obstacle course. I love playing with her, and it is an added bonus if we can get some of that excess toddler energy out. Olive is nonstop. She doesn’t quit talking or moving from the moment she gets up until the moment she goes to sleep.6:45 p.m. We set the timer, I make Olive’s bottle, and when the timer goes off, we head upstairs for bath time.7:15 p.m. After her bath, it is pajamas, lotion, bottle, and reading together. From there, Olive brushes her teeth and then puts on her Alphie, one of the Ollie World swaddles, and I take her upstairs to her crib. 8:00 p.m. There is some work I didn’t get to finish in the office, so I use this time to complete it. This is not always the easiest for me because at this point in my day, I am spent. I used to work a lot after Olive went to bed, but I had to limit myself because it was having such an impact on my stress levels and how I slept. 11:00 p.m. I get in bed to read, and eventually fall asleep.
Saturday
8:00 a.m. The weekend is for Olive and me. While there is still some routine, there is more flexibility. My hope is Olive will sleep in (so I can), but she usually wakes at her usual time. I get her up and we head downstairs so I can get her ready for the day and make breakfast. 9:00 a.m. Olive has recently started taking gymnastics classes. They actually start at 9:00, but it seems like we are never able to actually get out the door on time. We usually leave when the class begins. Fortunately, it is only about an 8 minute drive. 10:00 a.m. The gymnastics class is in an industrial area that has an adjacent parking lot full of parked semi trucks, which Olive absolutely loves. I usually pack a “second breakfast” that we eat after her class in the parking lot, so we can hang with the semi trucks. We started doing second breakfast when Olive was younger. Her first breakfast tended to be so light and she wouldn’t eat much. By adding a second breakfast, it took away some stress. Olive could eat whatever she chose to eat because I knew we had another meal coming soon. Coming from a long line of disordered eating in my family, I really want Olive to have the opportunity to listen to her body’s needs and be able to eat intuitively.10:45 a.m. Olive and I head over to my mom’s house to hang out for a bit. My mom plays such a significant role in my daughter’s life. She was with me at every IVF appointment, every doctor’s appointment while I was pregnant, and she was the one to cut Olive’s cord after she was born. We typically see my mom every day.12:00 p.m. Olive and I eat lunch together at Panera Bread. I learned the hard way that Olive has a peanut allergy, as well as gluten and dairy intolerances. As you can imagine, eating out is not easy. I used to be very fearful about eating anywhere outside of my home. But I have slowly started to get more comfortable, and we have found our safe places to eat out. 1:30 p.m. We head back home and I put Olive in her crib for “quiet time.” Olive stopped napping around 2.5 years old so she now has “quiet time” in her crib for 45 minutes. She brings stuffed animals, books, and blankets. And, let me say, it is anything but actual quiet time. Olive is usually talking or yelling or even throwing things some days. Regardless, it ends up being a break for us both. 2:15 p.m. I get Olive up and it is time for a snack. 3:00 p.m. It is always a goal of mine to do some kind of activity with Olive on the weekend, but please know, it doesn’t always happen. I used to put a lot of stress on myself to “make up” for all the time I was gone during the week. But I learned that was just setting myself up for failure and guilt for not being able to hit unachievable expectations. It is a work in progress to be more gentle with myself. So, sometimes our activities are planned and sometimes I throw something together with whatever we have lying around the house. 5:00 p.m. Olive and I have dinner together. 5:30 p.m. Olive and I go on a walk in search of muddy puddles. Of course, we find one. I always take a towel with us because I know when Olive sets her mind on something, she will make it happen. 6:45 p.m. I give Olive her bath. 7:00 p.m. Just like before, it is pajamas, lotion, bottle, and reading. After, we brush her teeth and put on her Alphie and head upstairs for her crib.8:00 p.m. Once again, I enjoy having some “sitting” time. After going nonstop all day, it is so nice to just be able to sit. The thing that is hard to capture in this diary is the tidbits of work I do throughout the day. Although I have spent the entire day with Olive, I still have bits of work to accomplish, whether it be something like email or posting on social media. When you share your life online, there really is never a break. My favorite thing is truly just to be able to sit on the couch, eat something, and watch “The Office.” I know that makes me sound super unexciting, but I am absolutely okay with that.10:00 p.m. I get in bed to read and fall asleep.
