When this happens, you often find yourself faced with a cranky baby, a screaming toddler, or a grumpy preschooler. Learn how to determine when overstimulation is the culprit and what to do to address the situation.
What Is Overstimulation?
Overstimulation happens when children are swamped by more experiences, sensations, sounds, and activities than they can cope with. For instance, a newborn baby might start crying after a family gathering where they have been cuddled by lots of strange grownups. A preschooler might have a meltdown after a particularly rowdy birthday party, or a school-age child might come undone if, for example, they go straight from school to after-school care, and then on to karate class When kids are overstimulated, they often feel overwhelmed and tired. As a result, their outbursts should be interpreted as pleas for some down-time and not an act of defiance. Consequently, parents need to recognize that the best thing for their child is a little quiet time in a calm and familiar environment. Unfortunately, though, it is easy to mistake a meltdown as something else entirely. For this reason, it’s important that parents know how to recognize the signs of overstimulation. It’s also helpful to learn precisely how much your child can take. Some kids do fine with lots of outside stimulation while others need more quiet time than most. The key is to determine what works best for your child so that you can strike a healthy balance of stimulation and downtime.
Signs of Overstimulation
Everyone responds to different sensory information in different ways. Some kids will have a low threshold to certain types of stimulation. So they respond negatively to this stimulation much more quickly than others might. Kids also may get more hyper, aggressive, or excited when they are overstimulated. Or they could do the complete opposite and zone out, withdraw from people, or act sleepy. Keep in mind that kids who are overstimulated do not know how to deal with what they are feeling. They also do not have the communication skills to talk about their distress. So they respond in the only way they know how—by acting out. Here are some signs that your child might be overstimulated, based on their age and development.
Overstimulated Newborn or Baby
If your baby or newborn is overstimulated, you might notice the following behaviors:
Clenches fists, waves arms or kicks legsCrying louder or more than what is normalExtra cranky or tiredMoves in a jerky wayTurns their head away from you
Overstimulated Toddler or Preschooler
When a toddler or preschooler is overstimulated, it is easy to mistake their behavior for the “terrible twos,” or assume they are being defiant. As a result, it is important to know what overstimulation looks like at this age. An overstimulated toddler or preschooler might do the following:
Cries a lot without being able to use words to describe their feelingsRefuses to do little things like put on a seatbelt or pick up a dropped sippy cupSeems tired, grouchy, and upsetThrows themselves to the floor in tears or anger
Overstimulated School-Age Child
While it is much easier to identify overstimulation in older children, especially because they might be able to tell you what is wrong, it still helps to know what overstimulation looks like at this age. For instance, an overstimulated school-age child might display the following characteristics:
Acting a little off or running around for no reasonActing out-of-character for their personalityAppearing sleepy or overtiredBeing aggressive or wildThrowing a fit or being extra grouchy
Helping Your Overstimulated Child Decompress
The key to helping your child cope with overstimulation is learning how your child responds to different types of sensory stimuli. Knowing this information will help you prevent overstimulation and keep your child from acting out. This knowledge is especially important with babies and toddlers who have not learned any coping techniques yet. As your kids get older, you can help them cope by teaching them breathing techniques, going for a walk, lying on the ground, or refocusing on something that calms them. Another technique for older children includes any type of slow, steady resistance that requires children to exert effort against their muscles. Examples might include playing “Simon Says” and requiring heavy work activities like, “Simon says march in place while stomping” or, “Simon says walk like a crab.” These activities help them calm their bodies and clear their mind. Here are some additional strategies for helping calm children when they are overstimulated.
Calming an Overstimulated Baby or Newborn
When you start to notice that your baby is overstimulated, take them to a quiet place where they can calm down. If you are at home, take them to their room and dim the lights. If you are out of the house with your baby, try putting the baby in a stroller with a light wrap or blanket. Some babies even like to be swaddled. Doing so helps reduce any physical sensations they may be experiencing. Sometimes babies find it soothing to be carried next to your body in a sling or something similar. Using this method allows you to go about your everyday activities or continue your day out while your baby is snuggled up next to you.
Calming an Overstimulated Toddler or Preschooler
The first step in calming your toddler or preschooler is to stay calm yourself. If you get upset or uptight, this will only cause your child’s emotions to escalate. So take a deep breath and calm down before rushing in. Next, try reducing the noise or activity around your child. For example, if you are home, turn off the television or radio or take your child into the bedroom and do something quiet together like snuggle or read a book. Once your child is calm, give the child some time to play on her own. When your child is ready to re-engage with you and others, try to help him or her put how they are feeling into words. You can start by saying, “I could tell you were upset,” then ask in a calm voice what was bothering them. If your child says they do not like a particular activity, try to find out what they don’t like about it. Their answer will give you important insight into your child’s preferences and may help you prevent future episodes of overstimulation. You may have to wait until a later day to talk about it if your child is particularly upset.
Calming an Overstimulated School-Age Child
At this age, kids are learning how to calm themselves down. There will still be times when your child may need your help. If you notice your child is struggling with overstimulation, suggest that they go to a quiet place and rest. Sometimes it is helpful for your child to read or listen to quiet music in their room with the lights dimmed. Other times they may just need to cuddle up on the couch next to you. When talking with kids this age about how they are feeling, it sometimes helps to indicate you know they are upset, but you are not sure what is causing it. If your child struggles to name their feelings, gently guide them in identifying how they are feeling and why they might be feeling that way. You also may want to talk to your child about which activities they find most interesting or valuable. When kids are feeling overstimulated, it could be that they have too many things on their plate, and they might need to let some things go. Remember, extracurricular activities are important but your child still needs enough time during the week to do homework, spend time with family, socialize with friends, and simply have alone time. Be sure your child is not over-scheduled or you may have to deal with overstimulation more often than you care to.
Limit Technology
Another culprit of overstimulation is technology in the form of television, computer, tablet, and cell phone. As a result, be sure you are following the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines for media consumption. In general, the guidelines recommend that children younger than 2 should not use any media, and if they do, such media use should be limited and only when an adult is around. An example of media use with a child this young is video-chatting with grandparents while the parents are present. For toddlers, media should still be limited, consist of high-quality programming, and never be used alone. For children 2 to 5 years of age, screen time should be no more than 1 hour per day. Parents also should avoid using media as the only way to calm children down. Parents need to learn other strategies for coping with their children’s difficult emotions.
Balancing Activity Time and Downtime
During the first five years of a child’s life, the brain is developing faster than at any other time in life. As a result, your child’s early experiences, including the things they see, hear, touch, smell, and taste, stimulate their brain, and create millions of connections. However, do not exhaust yourself trying to spend all day dangling toys in front of your baby. Nor should you try to cram a small child’s schedule with activities, outings, and other things. Babies and young children also need downtime in a place that is quiet, familiar, and predictable. You also should not over-schedule your school-age children with lots of extracurricular activities as they, too, need some unstructured free time. Don’t underestimate the value of allowing your child time and space to play quietly at home. When young children are given this opportunity, they learn to entertain themselves as well as explore their environment in their own way and at their own pace. This downtime also allows children to learn how to occupy themselves, find things to do, and be creative.
When You Should Be Concerned
Remember it is normal for kids to become overstimulated, especially if you have a lot going on or an extra busy schedule. Overstimulation is especially likely to occur during family vacations, weddings, or other events where the child is outside of their comfort zone for an extended period of time. And, in most cases, overstimulation is not something to be concerned about—except, of course, when it occurs. Keep in mind that you should not have to rearrange your entire life to deal with your child’s overstimulation. If you are doing this on a regular basis, your child may need medical intervention, including possibly sensory integration therapy. Your doctor can advise the next steps in dealing with your child’s sensitivity and overstimulation.
A Word From Verywell
There is no right answer when it comes to how much stimulation is too much because every child is different. The amount of stimulation one child can cope with will be different for the next child. Additionally, some children cope with stimulating environments better than others. As a result, it is best to let your child be the guide, and remember that moderation is the key. Babies and young children need to have time each day to spend quietly playing or resting while school-age children will benefit from one or two extracurricular activities that they are really interested in. Sports, music lessons, and clubs are a great way to make new friends and develop social skills. But too much time spent in organized activities means children miss out on time spent relaxing and entertaining themselves. Your goal is to find a balance between appropriate stimulation and downtime.
