As you notice your parenting job changing, it may seem like your rights and responsibilities as a parent also change. It’s true, some rights and responsibilities do shift over to your teen. This gives them more freedom to make their own decisions and be more independent. However, there are some that will remain consistent throughout your child’s adolescence.
Parental Rights and Responsibilities
Let’s review ten of the most important rights and responsibilities for parents of teenagers.
To Be Treated With Respect
Parents, along with everyone else in the family, have the right to be treated with respect. This includes not only parents and teens, but also siblings and extended family members who may be living in the home.
To Set Rules and Limit Privileges
Parents have the right to set rules and limit privileges when rules are not followed. This includes house and family rules that are followed out of respect for everyone who lives in the home. Some examples are rules about chores, guests, curfews, and illegal substances or activities within the home. Trust is a big issue between parents and teens. While teens are allowed to make mistakes—and parents should give their teens the ability to earn back their trust—that does not take away the responsibility of a parent to keep their minor child from hurting themselves by setting rules and saying ’no’ when needed.
To Know the Truth
Parents have the right to ask questions and expect that they will be answered truthfully. Parents should be aware of a teenager’s growing need for privacy when invoking this right. Also, remember to ask questions when emotions are not running high to avoid arguing with an angry teen. That will only add to the problem instead of solving it.
To Ask About the Who, What, and Where
Parents have the right to know where their teenagers are, who they are with and generally what they are doing. While teens do not have to go into detail about private matters, like their thoughts about the person they are dating, for instance, they do have to let parents know things like the location of the party they will be attending and who is chaperoning the party.
To Discuss Your Teen With Others
Parents have the right to talk with anyone who is involved in their teen’s life. This includes, but is not limited to teachers, doctors, coaches, mentors, friends and the parents of friends. Parents should also expect that they will get truthful answers to their questions when talking to these people.
To Maintain Family Unity
Parents have the right to encourage family unity. They can expect all members of the family to take part in family traditions, family vacations, family meetings, and other activities that build strong family bonds.
To Monitor Communication
Parents have the right to monitor their children’s access to the outside world. This is true whether that access comes from physically going somewhere or it is through the technology of a cell phone or the internet.
To Encourage Future Options
Parents have the right to encourage and monitor a teen’s view of their future. While teens are given the ultimate choice of what they want to do with their future lives, parents can influence it by using encouraging methods, but not through discipline. For example, encourage your teen to like science by sending them to space camp, but don’t take away privileges because they didn’t read the book on the solar system that you gave them.
To Make Mistakes
Parents have the right to make mistakes and change their minds. Mistakes happen, learning to fix a mistake and apologizing is important. No one is perfect and the decision you made may not be the best when you look back on it. It may be time to fall back and regroup. While your teen may not appreciate your reversal right away, your willingness to apologize and correct a mistake is a good to model for them.
To Show You Care
Parents have the right to let their teen know they love and care about them. While giving your teen a huge hug in front of their friends when you drop them off may not be the time, letting your teen know daily you care is important enough to mention, text, email, etc. A simple message works best, being careful not to embarrass them around their peers.
A Word From Verywell
You’ll note that if you go back through this list and exchange the phrase “parents have the responsibility” for the phrase “Parents have the right,” you will see that it also fits. It is important to remember that the right to parent is also the responsibility of parenting. Taking a minute to remember your parenting rights as responsibilities will humble you anytime you begin to feel authoritarian when you discipline. Give it a try.
